The Land of Mega Pumps

Wake-up call in the Windy City. Photo: Oindrila Bose/Unsplash

The ritual of coffee and finding a cozy place that feels like home

Chicago, Illinois, USA

The most beautiful thing in the morning is to wake up, rested but still sleepy, the sun peeking through the curtains and a fresh breeze going through the house, when the thought of a freshly brewed coffee hits you. On weekends preferably in bed, home brewed, with a freshly baked cinnamon bun. But most of the time a jolt of energy overcomes you and catapults you out of bed, ready to start the day on the right foot and keep moving, before the madness of the day arrives. Off to the land of unlimited morning energy.

A quick splash of water onto the face and head, quickly dressed up in a half running, half leisure wear outfit, sliding into some sports sneakers, and out in the still dim reality to the heavenly morning place: The Coffee House.

In the USA a friend once described her walk to the coffee place as a ritual that feels like being home again every time she returns — the morning walk to the next Starbucks.

The place of unlimited morning energy. Photo: Alex Feleja/Pexels

This corporate powerhouse of industrialized coffee making has completely transformed the “Art and Ritual” into a business transaction, which somehow still feels like a modern slightly quirky coronation. Quick and efficient, with minimal human contact. If you haven't ordered over the app for a quick pickup, the in-store order demands a precise order command manual. If you are not following it accurately, eye-rolling and impatient silence will follow, looking down on such amateurism, but with an extremely high reward if executed correctly.

There I stand, overwhelmed by the choices in front of me, thousands maybe even a million of different options. New trend drinks like the Unicorn Frappuccino, okay?! But the drink looks more like a mix of all body scrubs from Lush combined or maybe a Tropical Butterfly Lemonade Refresher, mhmm apperently trying to display the whole spectrum of colors in one drink. Maybe not something to start the day with, and I'm not feeling adequately suited style-wise for such a drink anyway. My eye catches a cold brew coffee — nah, that sounds promising for a morning wake-up call maybe with some sweet and saltiness in it.

1000s of different coffee choices and new trends. Photo: Rachelia Kriss/Unsplash

"One Iced Salted Caramel Cream Cold Brew, Venti, please," I proudly throw at the person at the register, who has been eyeing me patiently the whole time, waiting to finally take my order. She counters with: "Would you like that with normal, light, or extra salted caramel cream foam?" Crap. She got me. Slightly confused but still confident I answer: "Ahh make it an extra this time" — even though I have never ordered it before, and I’m already regretting my big-mouthed choice. But bigger, better… you know the verse, I'm just trying to fit in here, what can I say. With a professional attitude she registers it and asks for a name. Today I go by Lenny, easier to write down and pronounce than my real name or other creative inventions like Lawrence for some reason. She puts the order through to the preparation counter, I pay and trot over to the pickup area, full of pride at having mastered the jungle of choices and order procedure.

Arriving there, I find myself being pushed around by customers streaming in now, hunting for their coffees and scones or egg pastries. It takes a while, waiting patiently now in the back, while more and more people gather in the pickup area, before the magical moment arrives: "One Iced Extra Salted Caramel Cream Foam Cold Brew Venti for Lenny!" it echoes through the room. Yesss, that's me! Step aside, people, I've been chosen! Nods of admiration all around or maybe looks admiring the courage? Ahh, he went with an extra salted caramel cream foam. "Sure, yours will come next," I mumble with a little weird eye wink to a bystander with an impatient, disappointed face checking his morning messages on his phone. I glide on the imaginary rolled-out red carpet to the counter to pick up my iced coffee trophy with its perfectly, artfully mixing colors.

With a now satisfied face I start slurping at my drink while trotting back to the waiting area, because for some reason the oatmeal my companion ordered takes the longest to prepare — everything feels mechanically well trained in this place, but the oatmeal here feels like it is meticulously freshly prepared by a retreat yogi back in the kitchen.

Starbucks baristas serving the morning crowd. Photo: Vaishnav Chogale/Unsplash

The first sips are a symphony of different flavors, perfectly balanced, very good choice. Then it hits me: a rush of sugar sweetness activating my brain membranes and completely numbing my taste buds. I give my companion, now impatiently waiting for her oatmeal, almost ready to jump over the counter herself to prepare it, a taste of my iced brew specialty. "Really nice huh? But maybe a tad too sweet?" I ask her, rhetorically, already sure of the answer. "Yes," she answers with a face somewhere between delight and cringing, "a bit too sweet. I wonder how many pumps they put in there?"

I'm a man of action, especially in this place. The indirect command has been received, and my foreigner attitude, a mix of curiosity and innocence, pushes me back to the counter. "Sorry, can I ask you something? How much salted caramel did you put in my drink?" With an interested but slightly surprised look, the preparer at the station throws back at me: "The usual six pumps for an extra salted caramel cream Venti." My eyes flash open in disbelief. "Oh wow, thanks," is all I can bring out, although I'm ready to scream: Isn't that the whole frigging syrup bottle?!!

Good old cane sugar in this country is a necessity rather than a choice. And yes, this heavenly palace of coffee curiosities added a measurement to the sugar supply in their drinks, not in cups or ounces or any other common measurements for liquids in this world, but in PUMPS. Dangerous measurement if you ask me. My theory: the more trained and fast-paced the Barista is, the fewer pumps you have to order, because they're not too shy to jolt that pump accordingly. With newbies, give it an extra one, they're still afraid of it, like everyone should be with this sweet dynamite.

Morning walk in Chicago’s rising sun. Photo: Jerry Kavan/Unsplash

The oatmeal arrives and we walk out, deeply laughing about the pump festival in my coffee. Well, next time I’ll know, in the land of mega pumps, better order half the amount and add that to the perfect order procedure, to actually have a morning coffee instead of a sugar rush with a straw.

The walk back feels amazing in the now rising sun, still few cars on the road, birds chirping, dog walkers still night fuzzy trying to navigate the four-legged friends out of their front yards, the morning dew and mist still laying in the air while the city slowly wakes up. One task of the day already completed. I smile at my companion and she smiles back, pure happiness and joy thanks to the place of unlimited morning energy.

Morning in the Windy City. Photo:Ryan Heuer/Unsplash